That seating information is just a suggestion...

I go to a lot of events. A LOT. I go to a lot of different venues. A LOT. From big to small, reserved seating to general admission, whatever. When my seating is reserved, I do something CRAZY and actually sit in my reserved seat. And I never have a problem finding my seat. NEVER. I'm sure there are others like me; rule followers on the straight and narrow, afraid to step out of the comfort zone of their actual seat. You know you are.

But then there are the rest of the people. You know the ones. The ones entitled to sit wherever they like no matter what their ticket says. If you're one of these, then you should just stop reading now because I'm going to get snippy. 

What is the DEAL???

You are driving me CRAZY!!!

I have found that those of you who don't sit in your actual seats fall into three groups:

Group One: I can't find my actual seat.

Really? Is it simply too difficult to read the section, row and seat number on the ticket? Is it even harder still to ask an usher or other employee of the venue to help you? I need your help here because I really don't understand. Maybe I'm blessed with a magical seat finding gene and just don't know it, but I doubt it. Just ask the question. It's not hard.

Group Two: But I want to sit with my friends!

You're the one who got a ticket after your friends did and so now, your seat is five sections away and you can't talk through the entire game/concert. So you try to squeeze in near your friends, which is interesting if seating is bench style, but when there are actual seats, it doesn't actually work. But you keep trying. And you sweet talk the folks near your friends to see if they mind squeezing in with you. Sometimes this works, or at least you think it does. Believe me, most of the time, those people just want to push you down the stairs. Deal with the fact that you were lame and couldn't make a decision when your friends did. Go sit in your real seat. Maybe one of them will switch with you between bands or periods of play. Just don't ask me to squeeze, okay?

Group Three: That seating information is just a suggestion - the most popular of our groups.

Do you feel that the section, row and seat number printed on the ticket are just suggestions? Helpful guides to give you a seating OPTION? Is that what you think? You seem to know where your actual seats are, but aren't really interested in sitting in them. You're the ones that know you're breaking the rules, but you don't care. So you move around from seat to seat, glancing over at your actual - empty! - seats every now and then to see if someone has moved into them in your absence. You really think you're entitled to sit wherever you want, and what I love MOST is when the people come to sit in their actual seats that you've occupied. When this happens, you give them a look as though they're in YOUR way. Wow. You are AWESOME and soooo much cooler and more important than the rest of us. 

I watch these things happen time and time again at Sharks games and concerts and am getting more and more annoyed with it. Why can't people just sit in their right seats? Life isn't perfect. Sometimes you get disappointed. Learn to deal with it. Maybe the man/woman of your dreams is in the seat next to your actual seat. Maybe it's someone you could do business with. Maybe it's a celebrity in disguise. Maybe, just maybe, it's me. Wouldn't you feel bad if you didn't get to sit next to me? Believe me. You would.

I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but if you could just do me this one little favor, I would be forever grateful.

Thanks.