In case you missed the Oscars...

So here we are...the pre-show for the Oscars...and I suppose I'll do a little blogging...

So far, the dresses I've liked the most belong to Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz (saw them on E and online). I haven't seen a lot of the movies, but those I've seen I've loved. The rest will have to wait for DVD or be ignored (read: Avatar and Inglorious Basterds).

And I'm still a little bit in love with Zac Efron. **sigh** Why am I not younger?

The ABC hosts are bugging me. I'll rewind my E! recording of the 2-hour red carpet special later to see everyone.

Oooo...loving J Lo's dress too. She looks very glamorous.

Oh SJP...do not like your outfit or your hair.

Oh my, what was with that Whoopie Goldberg ad about Poise? That was painful.

Can the show just start? This pre-show is a snooze.

Oh yes Kate Winslet...I like the whole ensemble...more glamor. 

Okay, I might be a little in love with Taylor Lautner too, but I think that is actually illegal, right? Don't worry Zac, you're still #1.

Not many people can pull off white, but of course Meryl can. Meryl can do anything. ANYTHING.

Oh good, the pre-show lameness is over. Bring me the real thing!

Love Doogie!! Although I still maintain there is no need for any of this sort of hoopla.

Steve and Alec are bringing the funny, but really, could we just get on with it already? 

Penelope is another who is always perfectly glamorous. 

Best Actor in Supporting Role: Matt Damon/Invictus, Woody Harrelson/The Messenger, Christopher Plummer/The Last Station, Stanley Tucci/The Lovely Bones, Christoph Waltz/Inglorious Basterds ... I vote for Matt because I always vote for Matt, but I didn't see any of these movies, so I have no place to judge. And the winner is...not Matt. It's Christoph Waltz. Seems like no surprise since he won the Globe and the SAG, but I'm still not gonna see it.

Best Animated Feature Film: Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Princess & The Frog, The Secret of Kells, UP ... toss up for me between Princess and UP, but I'm betting on UP...aaaaand, it's UP for the win!! I have no issue with that at all!!

Amanda looks rather sparkly, but Miley needs to pull her dress up or just get off my TV. Seriously.

Best Original Song: Almost There/The Princess and The Frog, Down in New Orleans/The Princess and The Frog, some French song I have no idea how to spell from some movie I never even heard of, Take it All/Nine, The Weary Kind/Crazy Heart ... I vote for the Princess and Frog songs...but of course, the Crazy Heart song wins. Meh.

Oh how I adore Robert Downey Jr. Could he BE any more awesome?

Best Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, The Messenger, A Serious Man, UP ... no idea who should win...but, it's The Hurt Locker which I think is what all the buzz was about, right? Anyone know for sure? You go Mark Boal!

John Hughes tribute...hate that we lost him so young...love so many of his movies...nice to see so many of the stars of his movies there to pay tribute to him. I feel sad now.

Best Animated Short: I'll just tell you the winner because I know I didn't see any of them. I gotta say though, the three prior winners who spoke about what the win did for them was quite interesting. And the Oscar goes to...Logorama. Sure. You go Nicholas Schmerkin. Get yours! That actually looked kinda cool.

Best Documentary Short: Once again, just the winner...these all seem like they'd make me cry...Music by Prudence is the winner. To be fair, it did seem like it might be more uplifting than the others.

And who is that woman that joined the winner on stage? Is it Kanye in disguise? Weeeeird.

Best Live Action Short: Who's taking that statue home? Why, it's The New Tenants! Okay, I'm being silly. Some of those actually looked interesting. I'm thinking I could watch a lot more movies if I just watched the shorts.

And my first annoyance with Avatar arrives courtesy of Ben Stiller. I know it's the best movie ever made according to most of you, but I just don't care. I can't get there. Please make it stop.

Best Makeup: Il Divo, Star Trek, The Young Victoria ... yeah, I think Star Trek should win since it had actual creatures and things...and yay, it does!

Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air, Precious, In the Loop, An Education, District 9 ... and the winner is...Precious. Nice. And the winner seems genuinely excited. I like that.

They should show ALL of the awards on TV and get rid of the jokes and skits and singing and such...just saying.

Lauren Bacall...true Hollywood glamour.

Best Actress in Supporting Role: Penelope Cruz/Nine, Vera Farmiga/Up in the Air, Maggie Gyllenhaal/Crazy Heart, Anna Kendrick/Up in the Air, Mo'nique/Precious ... she should win I'm told, has already won the Globe and the SAG. Aaaaand, she gets it. I'll have to check it out on DVD. It definitely looks like a powerful performance.

Mo'nique loves her husband so much. It's really quite endearing. Her speech brought some tears to my eyes.

Oh I love Mr. Darcy...er, Colin Firth.

Really cervical cancer commercial? Really???

Best Art Direction: Avatar, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Nine, Sherlock Holmes, The Young Victoria ... and gee, shock, Avatar wins. That's one.

Uh, Tom Ford, what's with the squinting?

Best Costume Design:Bright Star, Coco before Chanel, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Nine, The Young Victoria ... don't really care who wins, but it's The Young Victoria in case you do.

Oh my. What sort of costume is that winner wearing? Oy.

No no no Charlize Theron. Just no. Who thought THAT was a good idea?

Oh yes. I need the iPad. It's official.

Okay. That hotel skit was absolutely not funny. Not funny and not needed. Stop. Please stop.

Yawn. A horror movie tribute. Why? 

Is it weird that I've never seen the original Jaws but I've seen Jaws III? I have actually seen a lot of these horror movies though and Jack is still uber scary with that ax coming through the door. The screaming, oh the screaming. Make it stop please. And some of these are not horror films. Edward Scissorhands? Really???

Oh look, another Zac sighting. Excellent. Yes, I'm 15.

Gotta love Morgan Freeman. He really does make just about anything sound more interesting than it really is. The only one who does it better is James Earl Jones. And now I just want to watch The Dark Knight.

Best Sound Editing: Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Star Trek, UP ... And yay, Avatar doesn't win! It's The Hurt Locker. You go sound people!

Best Sound Mixing: Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Star Trek, Transformers ... Let's see...it's not Avatar again! The Hurt Locker must sound reaaallllyyyy good!

And they're playing the ET music why exactly? I thought for sure Steven Spielberg was coming to the stage. And I would like to reiterate that ALL the awards should be shown on TV. ALL OF THEM!!!

OMG, if there's one movie I'm more sick of hearing about than Avatar it's Inglorious Basterds. Yawn.

Best Cinematography: Avatar, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, The White Ribbon ... And it's win number two for the blue people. That would be Avatar for the uneducated.

In Memoriam...always makes me a bit weepy...and James Taylor's beautiful singing definitely made it more heartwrenching...too many good people gone...some far too young. Nicely done Academy Awards. Nicely done.

If people are about to dance, I'm going to go get another Coke. 

Oh right, Sam Worthington's not American...please keep talking. Please.

Wait, are we now watching America's Best Dance Crew? Wow. I'll never get that 5 minutes back.

Best Score: Sherlock Holmes, The Hurt Locker, Fantastic Mr. Fox, UP, Avatar ... after the lameness of all the dancing I honestly couldn't care who wins this, but I'll vote for UP since it's one of the two I saw and the music was actually rather moving in my opinion. Let's see who gets the little gold man...Wow! Something I actually liked won? Seriously? You go UP!

Best Visual Effects: Avatar, District 9, Star Trek ... please, please, please let Star Trek win. Please? Just for me? Oh well. Win number three for the blue movie.

Oh man, this commercial for something just makes me want to watch The Sound of Music. Oh. It's a Hyundai ad? Really? I still want to put my DVD in.

I am enjoying hear the Train song Soul Sister on the Samsung TV commercial tonight. 

I want to eat all that Italian food they just showed. Yum. Why can't someone deliver THAT to me?

Oh Jason Bourne Identity. Thank you Matt Damon. That is all.

Best Documentary Feature: I'll just tell you who won because as with the shorts, I saw none of these and never heard of them either. I'm just not much of a documentary fan. I watch movies to escape from reality. Documentaries are real and I can tell these would all make me sad or cranky. The Cove is the winner. It appeared to be something sad about dolphins. I love dolphins. I wouldn't want to watch something about them that made me cry. Wait, Fisher Stevens? Really? Wow.

Wait, is this Tyler Perry's The 82nd Academy Awards? Heh. He's actually kinda funny, but I still don't get why he has to have his name in the titles of all of his movies.

Best Film Editing: Avatar, District 9, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Precious ... Let's see...is it more blue people? NO! It's The Hurt Locker! Maybe I need to see that.

Film editing winners are kinda nerdy and funny. Nice.

Oh Keanu. Please stop trying to be serious. You were at your best in Bill & Ted. Party on.

Wait, was that Martin Sheen's voice I just heard on the Hyundai commercial? Oh President Bartlett. You need a better agent.

What's with the backdrop of weird lamp shades? I don't get it.

And I just don't like Quentin Tarantino. Sorry.

Best Foreign Language Film: And the winner is...a movie I will never see...it's from Argentina...and it's called The Secret in their Eyes. Okay. Sure. Congratulations.

Ha. Winner is funny. Thanking academy for not considering Navi (Avatar blue people language) as a foreign language.

And yeah, I still don't want to see Avatar. Nothing about it appeals, but I have no doubt the effects are amazing.

I'm so happy that because I've had a Coke in the last 20 years that I've helped give college scholarships to deserving people. Man. I think a LOT of people owe me for their college education because in the last 20 years I've probably had an average of 1 Coke a day. That's a lot of freaking Coke people. You're welcome college educated people. I wonder why I didn't get one of those scholarships myself? Hmmmm...curious.

Oh please no. V is having an Oscar themed ad? Really? Luh-ame.

Um, what? Former/Current co-stars are introducing the best actor nominees? More time wasting. But it's nice to see Michelle Pfeiffer. She looks good. But omg, just get on with it. Goodness. Seriously. Get on with the award giving.

Ooo, I loved Shawshank Redemption. I should rent that and watch it again.

Oh good grief, and now someone else is going to come out to read the names again and give the award? I love Kate Winslet. Why didn't they just let her introduce the whole thing like normal? Was the goal of the Oscars to just get as many people on stage as possible? Again I say, luh-ame.

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Jeff Bridges/Crazy Heart, George Clooney/Up in the Air, Colin Firth/A Single Man, Morgan Freeman/Invictus, Jeremy Renner/The Hurt Locker ... I'm certain Jeff Bridges is going to win based on his Globe and SAG wins, but I would love it if Mr. Darcy pulled the upset. And there it is. Jeff Bridges. 

I still have no desire to see that movie. It's not that I don't like him. I do. But it just doesn't appeal. I gotta say he does seem genuinely excited to have won. Oh, it's about country music. That's why it doesn't appeal. Now I get it.

It doesn't seem fair that they're letting him talk forever but played off all the winners of the "lesser" categories. I protest. Who can I call?

And Richard Dreyfuss is also pitching for Hyundai? What gives?

And again with the group of people chatting about the nominees. I'm just not a fan of this even though I love seeing the actors talk about their colleagues. 

Okay, I think Gabourey is loving that Oprah is introducing her. I'd probably be loving that too. And Oprah looks great.

I do love Stanley Tucci. Funny. Very funny.

Um, what's up Sean Penn? Are you lost? Do you know what you're doing up there?

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Sandra Bullock/The Blind Side, Helen Mirren/The Last Station, Carey Mulligan/An Education, Gabourey Sidibe/Precious, Meryl Streep/Julie & Julia ... I'm so torn. I want Sandra and Meryl both to win. They were both great. Tie please? No? Okay. You go Sandra Bullock! This pleases me.

And she's funny. This is why we love Sandra Bullock. She's a great actress and a great human. And her husband is so clearly in love with her. That was really nice.

Really Barbra? You couldn't walk down three steps? Really???

Blah blah blah most successful movie ever made. Blah blah blah.

Best Director: James Cameron/Avatar, Kathryn Bigelow/The Hurt Locker, Quentin Tarantino/Inglorious Basterds, Lee Daniels/Precious, Jason Reitman/Up in the Air. Please let Kathryn upset her ex-husband for the win. Please please please!! And she does it!! Wow!! You go girl!!

Nice to see the writer with tears. Very moving. I definitely need to see this movie even though the topic doesn't appeal. Nice dedication to the military too. Happy for her! Even the ex looked happy for her.

There's an academy governor? And it's Tom Hanks? Maybe he could just be the next governor of California. Being governor somewhere seems to give him more qualification than our current governor had before he was elected.

Best Picture: I seriously can't believe 10 films were nominated for this...stupid, but here they are (and thank you for not restating them all Tom!): Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, UP, Up in the Air ... whew! Just typing all of those wore me out! Pretty sure Avatar is going to win based on what everyone's been saying, but with The Hurt Locker winning Best Director, it's now really interesting. Aaaand...Suck it blue people!!! The Hurt Locker wins the big prize!!!

Well, that was what, 4 hours? 5? At least it's only 9 here. Time to wrap this up. Overall, lots of things I didn't see won things, but a few I saw were at least nominate, and I did see Sandra's winning role. I liked that there were some surprises, but really want all the dancing, singing and hoopla to go away. Does anyone at all think that's interesting? Anyone? Bueller? Yeah. That's what I thought.

So, until next year...happy movie watching!!