Where were you?

I remember getting ready for work that morning, watching TV as I always did in the morning and the news breaking in to say a plane had hit one of the towers. I remember watching the footage and hearing the newscasters speculate as to how a plane might have done that. I remember not thinking much about it at all. And then I remember watching the second plane hit the other tower and realizing, along with the rest of the country, that something was very wrong. 

As I drove to work, I listened to the continuing news and felt a pit forming in my stomach. By the time I got to work I was completely unfocused. I remember seeing my boss in his office...he hadn't heard about it. I got into my office and put the CNN feed on my computer and learned about the attack at the Pentagon and the crash in Pennsylvania. And then I saw the towers start to fall and was completely stunned. People were starting to arrive at work by that time and everyone was in a bit of a daze.

Around noon, we were sent home, and I remember not wanting to go and actually arguing with my boss about it. He said I didn't have a choice so I reluctantly left. At that time they were very concerned about other targets, one of which was the Transamerica Building in San Francisco, just an hour north of us. They were also concerned about other airports and I guess they thought people wouldn't be able to work anyway, so it made sense to just send us all home.

I remember wondering what the next few days might be like and if there might be another attack closer to us. I went to the grocery store, and it was a very surreal experience. I felt like I should have food in case there was another attack. I talked to my parents while I was in the store, but I don't really remember much of the conversation. We were all in shock and happy we were all safe. The mood in the store was quiet, and while I can't really articulate it now, I do remember thinking it was just about the strangest thing I'd ever seen or felt.

I spent the rest of the day like most of the country did, watching the news, seeing the repeated images of the horror and then seeing the faces of the friends and families and neighbors of those who lost their lives. I'm sure none of us will soon forget the courage of the rescue personnel diving into the rubble and smoke and unknown to find life. It was the American spirit and human nature at its best, combating human nature at its worst. 

In the days and weeks that followed, as images continued to radiate from my TV screen, I was never more proud to be an American, and I was never more unnerved. It was unfathomable to me, still is, how individuals could so freely take lives. But all these years later, it is clear that what they really took, was a big chunk of our freedom. And I suppose that was their point. 

The most vivid memory I have of the terror attacks in 2001 actually came about a week after they happened. I had a meeting in Southern California and boarded a plane just a few days after they started flying again. It was a trip I'd taken many times in the past, but it was altogether different that day. The airport was eerie in its quietness, and there were very few people flying. Few words were spoken. When I boarded, the Southwest gate attended handed me a sticker that said "Thanks for flying". I got on the plane, got situated and leaned against the window where I fell asleep shortly after takeoff. What I will never forget is the feeling I got when I woke up, not far from Los Angeles.

I was overcome with emotion as we approached our destination. All I could think about was the folks on the planes that had been hijacked and what they must have thought when they realized they weren't headed in the right direction. I wondered if anyone had been sleeping and woke up and saw a tower, or the Pentagon and what they must have thought. I don't think I'll ever be that happy to see LAX again, but that day, it was the best thing I'd ever seen. As we landed, I wiped the tears from my eyes and thanked God for keeping me safe. I was wholly unprepared for that moment and will never, ever forget it. 

Since then I've flown hundreds of times and have never once felt that same emotion, I guess I never will. But even now, as I think back on that moment, I feel the tears in my eyes and am taken right back to it. 

It's clear now that nothing will ever be the same as it was prior to that day in September all those years ago. And I guess there's both good and bad in that.

(Memorable photo above by Thomas E. Franklin/The Bergen Record)