Email Spam Entertains

I started reading some of the subject lines for the email that ends up in my spam folder and while too many to count are about enhancing a body part I don't actually possess, I recently found some to be highly entertaining.

Blow the bacterial infections away from you.
OH! Is that all it takes to be healthy? Just blow things away from me? I'm so glad I know this now. My life will be much better.

Have you brushed your hair this morning
Note, there was no punctuation, but I find it interesting that an email spammer would care whether or not I brushed my hair. For the record, I did, in fact, brush my hair this morning.

rushed over to the door and desperately shook the handle
Really? And I would read an email with this subject line why exactly?

8
I'm serious. That was the subject line. Just the number 8.

GOOD BUSINESS CONTRACT/REPLY
Since they put this uber attractive subject in all caps it's clearly the most important things for me to read, right? I mean, doesn't everyone need a good business contract? Good thing they emailed me this or I would have been lost.

Bessie started to give me dusting and tidying jobs to do
Well you go Bessie. Make other people do your dirty work.

I am glad you are not my true relation
This email came from someone called "queen bettie". While I'm certain the queen of some country IS my true relation, I'm pretty sure she'd capitalize Queen...and Bettie...

Seminar on "Team Building & Development"
Oh yeah. The quotes were in there. I can only guess what this seminar is really about since it's clearly only pretending to be about team building and development.

Give us a call to get a diploma.
What the heck did I spend all those years in college for if all I had to do was make a phone call? Geez, if only email spam had existed in the late 80s...