Why would you...?

I should stop being surprised at people and how they behave, but sometimes, there are just so many things happening that I feel the need to share. So here then, are a few observations from last night's Sharks game, with a few tidbits from a couple of other games too. I can really only shake my head...

Why would you...

...not take a shower for several days then sit next to us after eating a meal composed, apparently, of only onions? Why would you knowingly sit in the middle of a crowd and make us all hold our noses? Do you seriously not smell it? Seriously?

Why would you...

...not lean back even after you were asked more than once by fans behind you and the usher and the announcement on the big screen? Why is it hard? Do you just not care that those behind you can't see? Are you so much more important than the rest of us? Oh you are? Sorry. My bad.

Why would you...

...pull your exhausted child into your arms and rock him back and forth, hitting my arm every time you move and distracting me from the game? Why not just take the child home or move into his seat so the mere presence of me next to you doesn't invade your space? Did you even see one play in the game?

Why would you...

...bring your child who has no interest in being there but every interest in annoying those around him or her by kicking their seat, pulling their hair and just being generally bothersome? How is this fun for you?

Also, don't think we didn't hear you when you said, after we asked you to have your child stop kicking the seats and jarring us all to our core, "Some people just don't like kids..." with a stupidly snarky tone. We heard. Trust me though, it's you we don't like. Not your kid. Your kid is four. You're, in theory, a grown up. You should know what isn't appropriate. But I guess some people are just...never mind...

Why would you...

...get so drunk before you got to the game that you could barely walk up the stairs, come close to flashing your boob at the crowd and get irritated when people want to come and go from your row? There's no way on the planet that you have any interest in the game so why bother?

Oh wait. You like this don't you? You like the attention and you nearly flashed us on purpose didn't you? I wonder, skanky wannabe flasher, if you even realized there was a game going on that people were trying to watch when you nearly knocked over their child. I also wonder if you know that whole ripped jeans look was never really in style.

Why would you...

...sit behind us and loudly talk about everything BUT the game? If you just want to chat with your pal, why not just go to dinner? What is the point of doing that during a game?

We notice that it's only you talking and that we don't hear your friend's voice much. We wonder if they really are your friend or if they are now regretting offering you that ticket at the office earlier in the day. Oh wait, now you're talking about the game. Cool. Oh good. You're an expert. We were looking for one of those. We're sure your friend was too. When she asked you what icing was, we're so glad you quoted, word for word, the hockey rule book. Thank you. Really.

Why would you...

...f'ing stay with a guy who'd f'ing left you more than once in a f'ing public venue? And why would you f'ing make us listen to this one-sided f'ing phone conversation while we waited for the f'ing light rail to show up? Look, now you've got me doing it. Are you trying to prove how many times you can say f'ing in front of people? Are you trying to prove you're an idiot?

Mission accomplished.

We totally think you're an idiot, because if someone left us at f'ing Disneyland, we would have left their sorry f'ing butt for good.

Oh wait. You're wearing a Boston Red Sox sweatshirt. And that guy that just stumbled by is wearing a Boston Bruins shirt. That pretty much says it all. Do you even know you're in San Jose? I wonder. It's cute how you're sitting on separate benches pretending you don't know each other. It's not cute that your boy mooned us after he dropped his phone and leaned over to pick it up. Eww.

Oh yeah. Downtown San Jose and random people in the Shark Tank are a treat. But hey, the Sharks won...fourth in a row. And that made the night great.