Day 52

Let me just start by saying that I am feeling fine...no pain...and no thought that something dreadful is wrong...still, there is a lingering health issue that I've been dealing with and decided to share what's going on because frankly it's all just pissing me off.

Boys...you may want to stop reading here as my health issue involves girl stuff...you may not care to have the details...I'm not afraid to share them with you but completely understand if you'd prefer to just know that in the end, as it stands now, I'm fine.

A couple of notes before I unfold this story...

1. I am 43 years old and am a virgin...proud of it as a matter of fact...believe me, I know it's rare.
2. I am a huge baby.

I suppose this all started about 18-20 months ago when I noticed my monthly cycle was becoming a little irregular, nothing major but annoying and cause for question. Question, not concern. Several friends mentioned that going on the pill would help regulate things...that it wasn't just for birth control. It made sense to me so I asked my regular doctor about it - my general practitioner that is. She said it was normal that things were starting to change given my age and that I shouldn't worry about it. However, she said I should go ahead and get an annual exam (which I've had exactly three times in my life - annual? more like every 10 years). I made a separate appointment for that; then, because things weren't regular, I had to reschedule it because my monthly friend arrived at an inappropriate time. 

Side note: As previously stated I'm a huge baby. And because of that, and because of item number one above, having that exam is about the most stressful thing I can imagine. The only other times I'd had the exam done prior to this adventure they had to use a child's speculum. And I was very much an adult when the other exams occurred. 

Anyway...I got the appointment rescheduled and made sure to tell the nurse that they would need a child's speculum because it's not something most GPs just have lying around. Mine did but I was so freaking tense by the time I arrived for the exam that there was no way she could actually do it. I kid you not when I say I was in tears at the mere thought of it. At that point she sent me to the gynecologist. Yeah. Because THAT seems less stressful. Whatever.

I made the appointment with the gyno a couple of months later - why rush? It was like a repeat experience from my GP's office only more so because I'd never seen this doctor and had already endured her lecture about not having the exam more often. Until this point I'd never had a single issue with anything and wasn't really having issues then. I knew I was getting close to the perimenopause stuff and wanted to make sure things were on track. I asked her about the pill and she wouldn't prescribe it without having the exam. Awesome. I believe it was at this point that I wished I'd lied to my GP and told her I was getting married and didn't want to get pregnant. I bet I would have gotten the pill then. But I digress...

The gyno said she could do the exam under mild anesthesia so I wouldn't be so tense and while the thought of that didn't exactly thrill me I knew it was the only way anyone was going to actually get the exam done so I got it scheduled. Yeah. That's not stressful at all. 

When the day arrived a good friend who has had similar issues with the exam and totally understood my plight drove me to the surgery center and it seemed like it would be a fairly painless experience. And I guess it was because I don't remember anything before waking up from the anesthesia. My friend picked me up and then the fun began.

The doctor told me that during the exam something tore and so I'd probably experience some pain when I went to the bathroom or even just sitting down. And they wonder why I couldn't have the exam the normal way? Good grief. They told me the pain would last a day or two. Yeah. That happened. The pain went for almost a week and I swore I would never do it again. That was September 2010. And even after the exam, they told me everything was fine but still wouldn't prescribe the pill. I was not pleased. Again, wishing I had lied. They basically just told me to deal with the irregularity and if it got worse to let them know. It still wasn't clear that they'd do anything about it but apparently just wanted to know. Whatever.

Flash forward into 2011...things were still irregular and about 6-8 months after the exam from hell I asked my GP about the pill again. She once again refused to prescribe it to me and told me about all the horrid side effects that were much worse than an irregular period. Not pleased!

During the year I had more than my fair share of infections that caused me to struggle with breathing and lose my voice more than once. They weren't sinus and they weren't colds...not completely sure what they were but I had more antibiotics in the last year than I care to think about. Sometime in the spring they put me on Prednisone for about 10 days and things improved drastically. But the Prednisone was evil and had its own special set of side effects. I hoped to avoid it going forward but when the infection returned with a vengeance in the summer they put me on it for almost two full months. And guess what happened? My period went away. Completely.

When I mentioned this to my GP, who had prescribed the Prednisone, she said that was normal when taking that medicine and believe me, I rejoiced and hoped it would stay away forever. However, after I stopped taking it, toward the end of September, my period decided to return, only this time, it was beyond crazy.

For the entire month of October it was extremely light, like it was just taunting me. I wasn't bothered by it because it was still better than a normal cycle. I kept wondering if the real deal would show up and was unpleasantly visited on November first and am now on day 52 of the fun. And it's been mostly heavy though some days have been, thankfully, more moderate. 

November held its own share of stress as I dealt with the death of a friend's husband, another bout of the infection that just won't die and a trip to Colorado to visit my grandparents. By the end of the month I decided it was time to talk to the doctor about things. Naturally, she was out of the country so I didn't get an appointment until last week, almost six weeks into the never-ending cycle from hell. My sole mission was to get the pill to get this thing regulated. Do I even need to tell you that she told me no? Of course I don't. Instead she sent me to the gyno. 

The next day I visited her, the one who did the exam, and wow, I have never been so irritated with a doctor in my life! First I got a lecture about how I should have come in when I didn't get my period in August. She didn't seem to care that I told my GP and was told it wasn't a big deal. Then she informed that when she did my annual exam last year that she found fibroid tumors and that those could be causing the bleeding. Hello!! How was that the first I'd heard of it? Why didn't she tell me that when she told me everything was fine more than a year earlier? I was not pleased. She indicated that hormones (the pill) would not be good and that she needed to figure out what was going on. 

"First," she said. "We need to get things to stop. So you need to be on bed rest through the weekend."

"Bed rest?" I asked thinking I'd misheard her.

"You must rest."

"But I have things to do. I have a concert and a game and can I work from home?"

"Well, it's up to you, but until you rest it's not going to stop."

All I could think was, "Kill me. Just kill me right here in your office."

I left in a complete state of disappointment and irritation and went to give some blood. She wanted to make sure I wasn't becoming anemic with all the blood loss. I told her I'd been eating a lot of beef and wasn't feeling lethargic but agreed that I had wondered about that myself. The lab told me they'd have the results to the doctor the next day. That was a week ago. And I've still heard nothing about the lab work. And frankly, I just don't have time to call.

I worked from home for 3 days and rested for the better part of 5 days and believe me when I say, I still have my period. I will admit that I didn't just lay in bed for 5 days - that might have sent me even further over the edge than I'm about to dive. But I definitely rested more than usual. I did go to the concert I had scheduled because the ticket cost me over a hundred dollars and I just sat in a seat the whole time. I didn't jump up or dance around so really, it wasn't like I was overexerting myself. I skipped one of my two hockey games, so I thought that was good. The only other things I did at the end of the 5 days were eat meals with friends, go to a movie and go to the spa. These are not stressful things. 

Yesterday the fun continued when I had an ultrasound to see if the tumors were causing the problem or if it was something else. She prescribed an outer ultrasound only since she knew I couldn't handle the one that might as well be the annual exam. None of it sounded very exciting to me but after drinking 32 ounces of water and holding it for what seemed like EVER, the technician called me in and started the exam. It didn't hurt but was definitely uncomfortable. 

At the end she was like, "I'm not seeing much but I need to do the [internal exam]." 

"I don't think so," I said. "My doctor just prescribed this one because I'm a baby."

"Really?"

I told her I had to have the exam under anesthesia and she was very surprised. "You can try," I finally said, "but be prepared for me to be a basket case."

"Are you a virgin?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Oh. Then I'm not doing it."

Score!

When all was said and done she told me they'd probably have to prescribe a CT scan in order to see more detail because she couldn't see any tumors or anything else. Awesome.

So here I am...day 52 with no end in sight and no real understanding about what's going on. And like I said at the beginning of this, I really do feel fine. There is no pain. There is just annoyance. I've had a couple of headaches but that's it. Mostly it's just bothersome and I want it to end. And I can't help but think that if I'd just lied to my doctor a year ago and said I wanted to go on the pill so I didn't get pregnant that there would have been no further discussion. There's just something very wrong about that...