Day 59

It's Day 59. In case you missed Day 52 or Day 58, you should read those first. Or you can just pretend you know what's happening and dive into this post. As I've stated in my prior two posts this is girl stuff, so if you're not a girl, or if you're a girl who doesn't like to read about girl stuff, you should stop reading now. 

After yesterday's post I waited about an hour before my doctor's nurse called me back. I told her what was happening and she said the doctor actually wasn't in but she'd talk to her today and get back to me. And then she reiterated that I should be in bed resting. So after I ate dinner and watched the first period of the Sharks game I actually got in bed. And yes, that's a stuffed animal in bed with me. A girl's gotta have some comfort!

Things were still semi-heavy last night and woke me up very early this morning, but they seem to have settled down a bit now. Maybe there's something to this resting thing after all. I decided to give it a shot and stayed in my bed until approximately 11:15 today when my stomach was growling so loudly that I forced myself to get up and make some food.

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you'll know that in the midst of cooking I set off my downstairs AND upstairs smoke alarms, further proving my point that eating out should always be my first choice.

After eating my pork chop and French fries I settled in for some delightful afternoon TV and finally got a call back from my doctor's office.

As you may recall I had an appointment scheduled for next Friday, January 6, to review the results of my blood work and ultrasound. As you may also recall I was not pleased about it. Well, now I have an appointment on Tuesday - still not clear why they couldn't fit me in today, but whatever - and I have an appointment next Thursday to have a D & C procedure done, which is supposed to fix this problem. If you're not sure what that is, click on the link and WebMD will tell you all about it.

Anyway...I now feel like I'm going to get some relief from this, but I'm really not clear why it took so freaking long!!

Thanks again for all of your good thoughts and wishes. I'll keep you posted!

Day 58

In case you missed the first post about the health situation I'm dealing with, check out Day 52. I'm now on Day 58 and as I just posted on Twitter and Facebook, I could not be more done if I tried.

And again boys...you may not wish to read any further...

Since my last blog about this oh-so-joyous situation I heard back from the doctor and was given an appointment on January 6 to discuss the results of the ultrasound. Really? More than two weeks after the exam? I assumed this delay was due to the holidays and resigned myself to the fact that it was my only option. They told me nothing about the blood work and didn't ask how things were going and I was in my office so didn't really feel like sharing. But the fact was, and is, that nothing has changed. NOTHING.


That rest they told me to take? Yeah. That didn't change anything. My period is still alive and well though seems to be more finicky. I've actually had a couple of days where it was very light and I thought maybe, just maybe, I was getting through things. HA! Negative ghost rider. The day after the light days, it just doubles itself up and gets mean. 


That's pretty much what happened today.


Life was great yesterday. I've been resting quite a bit since I'm on vacation and just doing a few things here and there. I went to the salon yesterday - relaxing - and also to the DMV. Granted, that wasn't relaxing, but I had an appointment so was only there 30 minutes. Then I came home and rested before meeting a friend for dinner. Dinner's relaxing, right? Yes. It is. And I went to bed thinking life was good. That maybe things were finally looking up.


When I woke up this morning I realized how wrong I was. Things were moderate when I crawled out of bed but still much heavier than yesterday. Fine. Whatever. I'm dealing with this thing now so I just left to meet my friend for a movie and lunch. It was in the middle of the movie that I felt things getting ugly but I feared standing up and creating a scene so I waited until the movie was over and scurried to the bathroom where I felt like a teenager who was ill-prepared for her time of the month. Not to be gross but, well, it was gross. And it was a flood. And I almost cried in the bathroom of the movie theatre. I didn't though. Instead, I wrapped my sweatshirt around my waist, backwards, and told my friend I couldn't do lunch because I had to go home. He was already in the know about everything and was very understanding but I was MAD.

I grumbled the whole way home and debated driving myself to Urgent Care in hopes that maybe someone there would take some action but I decided to come home and clean up and see how the rest of the day went. After doing so and realizing that things were back to a more moderate state I hemmed and hawed and decided to cancel everything I had planned for tonight and tomorrow just to be on the safe side. That's when I got really mad. This is now interfering with my life in greater ways and I AM DONE.

I just called the doctor's office and, surprise! She's actually working this week. Why couldn't they get me an appointment this week to go over the results? Seriously displeased. I talked to the receptionist who freaked out when I told her what day of my period I was on then put me on hold while she tried to get the doctor's nurse to come to the phone. Unfortunately she was with a patient and couldn't talk to me so now I'm sitting here waiting for a call back and wondering if this ridiculousness will ever end.

Like I said, I really do feel fine...there's no pain of any sort, just embarrassment today and complete and total irritation. Thanks to all of you for your good thoughts and prayers. I'll keep you posted...

Day 52

Let me just start by saying that I am feeling fine...no pain...and no thought that something dreadful is wrong...still, there is a lingering health issue that I've been dealing with and decided to share what's going on because frankly it's all just pissing me off.

Boys...you may want to stop reading here as my health issue involves girl stuff...you may not care to have the details...I'm not afraid to share them with you but completely understand if you'd prefer to just know that in the end, as it stands now, I'm fine.

A couple of notes before I unfold this story...

1. I am 43 years old and am a virgin...proud of it as a matter of fact...believe me, I know it's rare.
2. I am a huge baby.

I suppose this all started about 18-20 months ago when I noticed my monthly cycle was becoming a little irregular, nothing major but annoying and cause for question. Question, not concern. Several friends mentioned that going on the pill would help regulate things...that it wasn't just for birth control. It made sense to me so I asked my regular doctor about it - my general practitioner that is. She said it was normal that things were starting to change given my age and that I shouldn't worry about it. However, she said I should go ahead and get an annual exam (which I've had exactly three times in my life - annual? more like every 10 years). I made a separate appointment for that; then, because things weren't regular, I had to reschedule it because my monthly friend arrived at an inappropriate time. 

Side note: As previously stated I'm a huge baby. And because of that, and because of item number one above, having that exam is about the most stressful thing I can imagine. The only other times I'd had the exam done prior to this adventure they had to use a child's speculum. And I was very much an adult when the other exams occurred. 

Anyway...I got the appointment rescheduled and made sure to tell the nurse that they would need a child's speculum because it's not something most GPs just have lying around. Mine did but I was so freaking tense by the time I arrived for the exam that there was no way she could actually do it. I kid you not when I say I was in tears at the mere thought of it. At that point she sent me to the gynecologist. Yeah. Because THAT seems less stressful. Whatever.

I made the appointment with the gyno a couple of months later - why rush? It was like a repeat experience from my GP's office only more so because I'd never seen this doctor and had already endured her lecture about not having the exam more often. Until this point I'd never had a single issue with anything and wasn't really having issues then. I knew I was getting close to the perimenopause stuff and wanted to make sure things were on track. I asked her about the pill and she wouldn't prescribe it without having the exam. Awesome. I believe it was at this point that I wished I'd lied to my GP and told her I was getting married and didn't want to get pregnant. I bet I would have gotten the pill then. But I digress...

The gyno said she could do the exam under mild anesthesia so I wouldn't be so tense and while the thought of that didn't exactly thrill me I knew it was the only way anyone was going to actually get the exam done so I got it scheduled. Yeah. That's not stressful at all. 

When the day arrived a good friend who has had similar issues with the exam and totally understood my plight drove me to the surgery center and it seemed like it would be a fairly painless experience. And I guess it was because I don't remember anything before waking up from the anesthesia. My friend picked me up and then the fun began.

The doctor told me that during the exam something tore and so I'd probably experience some pain when I went to the bathroom or even just sitting down. And they wonder why I couldn't have the exam the normal way? Good grief. They told me the pain would last a day or two. Yeah. That happened. The pain went for almost a week and I swore I would never do it again. That was September 2010. And even after the exam, they told me everything was fine but still wouldn't prescribe the pill. I was not pleased. Again, wishing I had lied. They basically just told me to deal with the irregularity and if it got worse to let them know. It still wasn't clear that they'd do anything about it but apparently just wanted to know. Whatever.

Flash forward into 2011...things were still irregular and about 6-8 months after the exam from hell I asked my GP about the pill again. She once again refused to prescribe it to me and told me about all the horrid side effects that were much worse than an irregular period. Not pleased!

During the year I had more than my fair share of infections that caused me to struggle with breathing and lose my voice more than once. They weren't sinus and they weren't colds...not completely sure what they were but I had more antibiotics in the last year than I care to think about. Sometime in the spring they put me on Prednisone for about 10 days and things improved drastically. But the Prednisone was evil and had its own special set of side effects. I hoped to avoid it going forward but when the infection returned with a vengeance in the summer they put me on it for almost two full months. And guess what happened? My period went away. Completely.

When I mentioned this to my GP, who had prescribed the Prednisone, she said that was normal when taking that medicine and believe me, I rejoiced and hoped it would stay away forever. However, after I stopped taking it, toward the end of September, my period decided to return, only this time, it was beyond crazy.

For the entire month of October it was extremely light, like it was just taunting me. I wasn't bothered by it because it was still better than a normal cycle. I kept wondering if the real deal would show up and was unpleasantly visited on November first and am now on day 52 of the fun. And it's been mostly heavy though some days have been, thankfully, more moderate. 

November held its own share of stress as I dealt with the death of a friend's husband, another bout of the infection that just won't die and a trip to Colorado to visit my grandparents. By the end of the month I decided it was time to talk to the doctor about things. Naturally, she was out of the country so I didn't get an appointment until last week, almost six weeks into the never-ending cycle from hell. My sole mission was to get the pill to get this thing regulated. Do I even need to tell you that she told me no? Of course I don't. Instead she sent me to the gyno. 

The next day I visited her, the one who did the exam, and wow, I have never been so irritated with a doctor in my life! First I got a lecture about how I should have come in when I didn't get my period in August. She didn't seem to care that I told my GP and was told it wasn't a big deal. Then she informed that when she did my annual exam last year that she found fibroid tumors and that those could be causing the bleeding. Hello!! How was that the first I'd heard of it? Why didn't she tell me that when she told me everything was fine more than a year earlier? I was not pleased. She indicated that hormones (the pill) would not be good and that she needed to figure out what was going on. 

"First," she said. "We need to get things to stop. So you need to be on bed rest through the weekend."

"Bed rest?" I asked thinking I'd misheard her.

"You must rest."

"But I have things to do. I have a concert and a game and can I work from home?"

"Well, it's up to you, but until you rest it's not going to stop."

All I could think was, "Kill me. Just kill me right here in your office."

I left in a complete state of disappointment and irritation and went to give some blood. She wanted to make sure I wasn't becoming anemic with all the blood loss. I told her I'd been eating a lot of beef and wasn't feeling lethargic but agreed that I had wondered about that myself. The lab told me they'd have the results to the doctor the next day. That was a week ago. And I've still heard nothing about the lab work. And frankly, I just don't have time to call.

I worked from home for 3 days and rested for the better part of 5 days and believe me when I say, I still have my period. I will admit that I didn't just lay in bed for 5 days - that might have sent me even further over the edge than I'm about to dive. But I definitely rested more than usual. I did go to the concert I had scheduled because the ticket cost me over a hundred dollars and I just sat in a seat the whole time. I didn't jump up or dance around so really, it wasn't like I was overexerting myself. I skipped one of my two hockey games, so I thought that was good. The only other things I did at the end of the 5 days were eat meals with friends, go to a movie and go to the spa. These are not stressful things. 

Yesterday the fun continued when I had an ultrasound to see if the tumors were causing the problem or if it was something else. She prescribed an outer ultrasound only since she knew I couldn't handle the one that might as well be the annual exam. None of it sounded very exciting to me but after drinking 32 ounces of water and holding it for what seemed like EVER, the technician called me in and started the exam. It didn't hurt but was definitely uncomfortable. 

At the end she was like, "I'm not seeing much but I need to do the [internal exam]." 

"I don't think so," I said. "My doctor just prescribed this one because I'm a baby."

"Really?"

I told her I had to have the exam under anesthesia and she was very surprised. "You can try," I finally said, "but be prepared for me to be a basket case."

"Are you a virgin?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Oh. Then I'm not doing it."

Score!

When all was said and done she told me they'd probably have to prescribe a CT scan in order to see more detail because she couldn't see any tumors or anything else. Awesome.

So here I am...day 52 with no end in sight and no real understanding about what's going on. And like I said at the beginning of this, I really do feel fine. There is no pain. There is just annoyance. I've had a couple of headaches but that's it. Mostly it's just bothersome and I want it to end. And I can't help but think that if I'd just lied to my doctor a year ago and said I wanted to go on the pill so I didn't get pregnant that there would have been no further discussion. There's just something very wrong about that...

And on the 7th day, I returned...

Last Friday, November 11, I sent myself on a social media hiatus. I’d been thinking about doing it for a while but just hadn’t found the motivation or willpower to make it happen. When a friend announced he was going to take some time away from social media I decided to follow suit.

I’m not sure why I decided that Friday would be the day I shut myself off from the social media world but it seemed like a good time since I was headed out of town for four days. I thought getting on a plane and being forced to be out of touch for a few hours would be a good start and I was mostly right about that.

It was the two hours between saying goodbye to Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr and the plane actually taking off that were hard. Those little icons on my phone were very inviting but I resisted. I turned off all the notifications so I wouldn’t be able to see if anyone posted something on my wall or sent me a personal tweet. That definitely helped. It also helped that my wireless connection once I got to my mom’s house was pretty weak.

I spent my weekend in Colorado seeing my mom and her husband, my dad and his wife and my grandparents (91 and 92 years of age!). I had to laugh when my mom asked me if I saw something on Facebook and again when my dad asked if I saw his post on Facebook. Normally I probably would have been the first to comment on either of their posts but I missed them completely.

I took several pictures while I was there and it was weird to not immediately post them for all the world to see. One of my favorite things about social media is the ability to share my pictures and see the pictures of my friends, especially those friends I don’t get to see very often. I feel more connected and like that we can share our lives even though we’re not in the same room, city, state or even country sometimes.

Staying away became harder once I got home on Monday afternoon and had all kinds of free time on my hands. And yet, I resisted. And it felt good. I hadn’t made any plans as to how long I’d stay away. I figured I’d know when the time was right to go back, and as I write this, I know that tomorrow is the day. I will have been away six days by then and for whatever reason, that seems like enough.

But I had another reason to step away from the silliness that social media so often is. After returning Monday from Colorado I flew out Tuesday night to San Diego so I could attend a funeral.

My dear friend Robyn’s husband Brian passed away 10 days ago after a short battle with brain cancer and I guess that’s really what started to put everything into perspective for me. When you get that sort of news, that someone not even 45 years old is gone, you realize that nothing else really matters; nothing that is except friends and family and while I connect with all my friends and most of my family via Twitter and/or Facebook on a regular basis, it just seemed like the time to step back and really focus on life for a minute.

Death is something we know is coming for each of us, but we assume it will come when we’re 80 years old or older. We assume those that will go first are grandparents, older relatives and even our parents. We don’t think we’re going to lose someone in the prime of his or her life but it happens every single day and basically, it sucks.

I lost my aunt when she was in her early 50s, and that was completely unexpected and horrible and yes, it sucked. It still sucks because she should still be here with us. Brian was my age and had a wife and a nearly-4-year-old son and wow does it ever suck. I’ve been crying off and on for the last week and a half and can’t help but wonder how much longer I have to walk on this earth. I can't even imagine what Robyn is going through.

I’ve also been thinking about what’s really important and how I should be spending my time. And yes I’m going back to my social media outlets because I think connecting with people is incredibly important and I realized today that what I missed most about Twitter and Facebook was the interaction I have with people all over the country, some that I know personally and some that I’ve never met; some that I’m related to and some that I count as my closest friends.

So while I haven’t completely figured out everything in my life, I think I least get this part, and I hope I never take anyone in my life for granted. Life is too precious and our time together is too short. Never was that more evident to me than right now.

Labor Day Adventures or...Welcome to Crazy Town!

Ah Labor Day...a day off from work and 24 hours to do nothing. Or to do 412 things. One of those. Let me share, won't you?

I woke up somewhere around 3 am STARVING - my own fault since I hadn't eaten dinner the night before; there was no getting out of it. I had to have food. So, I schlepped down the stairs and started looking through my fridge and pantry to find exactly what I expected to find, a big fat nothing. Why I didn't open the freezer and dig into the cookie dough ice cream I will never know, but, I decided to make noodles. So yeah, at approximately 3:30 am I ate some bow tie pasta with salt and butter. And I had a Coke. Because that seemed like the smart thing to do at that hour. While I ate I watched my DVR recording of Drop Dead Diva, which kept me up until almost 4:30. It seemed ridiculous to stay up at that hour on a holiday so I came back upstairs and crawled in bed where I was still wide awake. I fell back asleep somewhere around 6 for a couple of hours - early morning nap? - and finally was awake for good around 8 am.

I spent the next 4ish hours sitting in bed doing absolutely nothing of importance online. I tweeted, I facebooked, I tumblr'd; I probably even emailed (yeah, I'm old school like that sometimes). It was all very exciting and a definite time waster, though I'm still not clear how I wasted 4 hours, but suddenly, it was almost 12:30 and I was meeting a friend around 1:15 so I got up and got myself ready to go. Half the day had been spent in a mostly slothful state and I was pleased.

I was happy to see the sunshine when I finally stepped out of my house and made my way to the light rail station, and I was definitely happy to see my friend when she pulled into the parking lot moments after I did. I had apparently read the light rail schedule incorrectly and we had to wait a little longer than planned, but we didn't care; we had a lot of terribly important things to discuss.

While we were waiting a lady asked us where a park was and we actually knew, so we gave her directions, which she proceeded to give to a young kid on a bike, but it was clear she wasn't sure, so we reiterated them to him. He thanked us and rode off and then the lady asked me about restaurants in the area and a few other things then drifted off to meet her own friend. We felt very helpful and useful and were ready to embark on our journey.

I was surprised how busy the light rail was for a holiday, but the ride to downtown San Jose was pretty uneventful. We journeyed to The Kebab Shack for a late lunch and found a perfect table outside while we waited for our food. That's when the children invaded. Two of them to be exact. They came from another table, and their parents just let them cross the sidewalk and wander into our territory. It was not cool. We thought both parents were ignoring them but then realized the dad was tending to yet a third child while the mom lollygagged somewhere. This went on for about ten minutes but then she finally corralled them back into her land and we were back at peace. That's when the wind shifted and we got a big whiff of the garbage bin sitting in the street. We very nearly hurled, but then it shifted again and it went away. It came back once more but it wasn't as bad so we endured. Then the car alarm came. And I'm not even sure where the car was, but I was ready to punch it in the face! It rang until it could ring no more, and then we let out our breath and enjoyed the 12 seconds of silence until it started ringing again. This happened four more times. Seriously. And then there was a hideously loud beeping from across the street that started up. It was like a battle of the annoying noises and we were about to lose our minds but somehow we managed to contain our rage and finish eating without incident.

Getting our movie tickets was easy and the guy inside the booth was actually entertaining so we entertained him right back. We're funny, my friend and I. At least we think so. We made a stop in the bathroom before procuring our popcorn and while it wasn't really a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, the paper towel dispenser actually played an entertaining role. My friend washed her hands first and realized that the main dispenser, in the most convenient part of the bathroom, wasn't working. She reached over to the inconvenient one in the corner and pulled her towels out. I followed suit having seen her, but then another girl tried the other one, to no avail naturally, and looked confused as she reached for the other one. We were like, "Really? You didn't see us both use that one? Really?" We left her there to fend for herself and made our way to the treat counter where we, surprisingly, procured treats without any drama.

We weren't expecting to see many people in the theatre, but there were actually quite a few, so we found some seats and got settled with our food and waited for things to start. Naturally a ridiculously loud popcorn chomper sat behind us, but he calmed down when the movie started. We were definitely entertained by 30 Minutes or Less. It was a little raunchy and a lot of crazy and we laughed a lot. From the pen gun, to the Satanic Hispanic to Sandra; it was absolutely fun.

We had to wait almost 25 minutes for the light rail to fetch us, but it wasn't too bad. Downtown San Jose is entertaining on a holiday Monday evening, and we didn't want for people to watch. From baggy jeans to big plugs in ears to the guy I'm pretty sure is stalking me on the light rail every day, it was an adventure. Okay, I don't really think the guy is stalking me but I have seriously seen him every day on the light rail since school started. He gets on at the same stop I do and is almost always on the same train to and from downtown. It's a little crazy.

Once we got on the light rail the fun continued. We sat in the back so we could see pretty much everything happening in the whole car and almost died laughing when a guy spied another guy and thought he knew him. He pretended to run into him then laughed, but the guy he bumped was not laughing. The bumper was like, "Hey, it's me." And then he realized it wasn't actually the person he thought it was. And he was embarrassed and came and sat in the furthest back seat. We died. I seriously thought there was going to be a brawl because I could only see part of the action - my friend filled me in on the rest after the fact. I was trying to figure out how we could get off the train so as not to get involved in any fisticuff action. Yep. I just wrote fisticuff.

From there we ventured back to my house and had a calm couple of hours watching a chick flick. We needed some mellow after our adventures. But then I got hungry and was determined to eat dinner so as not to have a repeat of the earlier happenings where I was starving in the middle of the night. So, we went to Outback. You KNOW how I hate Outback.

We got seated in one of those giant booths you could actually sleep in, and I was tempted to lay down for a minute, not because I was tired, but just because it was there. I refrained though and sat up like a grown person and read the menu as though I had no idea what was on it. Our waiter, let's call him Ephraim, since that was his name, was very peppy and energetic and it was bordering on annoying, but we just went with it since we were being rather silly and had a lot of our own energy to burn. He took our drink orders and promised us bread. Oh the bread. Keep that in mind. It will be important later. We got our drinks and our bread and placed the rest of our order and moved on.

Every time Ephraim came to our table he had even more energy than the last time and it was a little bit creepy at times how excited he was to talk to us. At one point he even told me how he ate his shrimp like me, saving the last bite until the end and how after I'd ordered it he decided that's what he was going to eat when he closed up. Sure. Okay. TMI? Maybe a little. He also told us that he'd watched a lot of people eating and pretended to hide behind the booth behind us and pop up like he was spying. What? I believe he thought he was funny, but it became creepier by the second and we were trying not to laugh. He was nice, and our orders were right, but it was too much. TOO MUCH I SAY!

Because I am a frequent Outbacker I do know a few of the peeps that work there, and when I saw my friend Andrew on the other side of the restaurant I tried to get his attention but I failed miserably. When he finally wandered to our side Ephraim (EPHRAIM!) was at our table telling us one of his tales and I couldn't actually see around him to get Andrew's attention. When Ephraim finally left, Andrew was gone too and I was bothered. But Andrew came back and I called him over and as he leaned into the booth to hug me I managed to knock over what was left of my ginormous iced tea. Still not quite sure how that happened, but Andrew was kind enough to clean it up while only slightly mocking me. He took the bread that got destroyed by the tea and said he'd bring us more with a new glass of tea for me, which he did in just a couple of minutes. He also told me I was cut off if I spilled that one then sat down and chatted with us for a bit. Clearly this bothered Ephraim because he came right back over and tried to jump into our conversation. Jealous much?

Andrew got back to work and Ephraim went back to his normal self, I guess, and I drank more of my tea and ate a little bread then settled into a complete coma. We got the bill, put our cards in the holder and waited for Ephraim to swing back by, which of course he did very soon after. He got things taken care of but we sat and chatted a while longer, laughing at our day and how crazy things turn when we're together. We decided we were ready to go, but I wanted to take the remaining bread with me since I'd only eaten one piece, but Ephraim was nowhere to be found and so, we waited. When he finally stopped by and I asked him for a bag he was like, "No, I'm just going to throw this bread away." And I was thinking, "What? But I actually want it." Then he added, "I'll get you a fresh loaf; this one's all dry." Well okay. That was nice. So we let him take the supposedly dry bread and waited again. And waited. And then we waited some more. And finally, after almost 15 minutes and no bread, we left. I should have just put the partially eaten loaf in my purse and gone with it.

Andrew told us goodbye as we left and we just shook our heads as we got to the car. I don't live in Campbell. I live in CrazyTown! And I didn't even have time to tell you about the table behind us and their crazy dining situation...maybe I'll share that later...but for now, I think I've shared quite enough.

Hope you had a great day off...we sure did!!